


A Fear of Feelings

by starrnobella



Series: Interstellar Novella [65]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco's Den's Roll-A-Drabble, F/F, Fights, First Kiss, Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020, Implied Relationships, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrnobella/pseuds/starrnobella
Summary: It takes courage to come to terms with your own feelings. Sometimes, however, that courage needs a little push to jump into action.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Astoria Greengrass
Series: Interstellar Novella [65]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/590830
Kudos: 9
Collections: Draco's Drabbles, Hermione's Haven Bingo 2020





	A Fear of Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was written for Hermione's Haven during #HHBingo20 and Draco's Den during the April Roll A Drabble. This story filled square I2 - "I understand if you can't love me anymore or don't want to." "I want to." "Real love doesn't evaporate when things get hard." - You, Season 2. April's theme for Roll A Drabble was First Kisses and my roll resulted in a First Kiss Fail after a Fight. Thank you to my bitches for helping me select a pairing for this one! I can totally get behind a Hermione/Astoria romance!
> 
> Beta work was done by Grammarly and the only thing I own in this little tale is the plot.
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you think!
> 
> Love always,  
> ~starr

The chill of the night's air around the bar sent a shiver down Hermione's spine as she leaned up against the wall in the alley outside the Leaky Cauldron. Closing her eyes for a moment, she leaned her head back against the bricks and let out a heavy sigh. Everything had gone to shit from the moment she walked in and noticed her blonde head sitting at the bar.

"Why did it have to be her?" Hermione mumbled to herself as she shoved her hand into her pocketbook in search of her cigarettes. Extracting one from the pack, she lifted it to her lips and struggled for a few moments with the lighter when a voice called out to her.

"Need a light?" the soft voice asked, stepping forward with a lit lighter aimed at the end of the cigarette.

Hermione glanced up and saw Astoria standing in front of her, smiling and holding the lighter out to her. Fighting the urge she felt to roll her eyes, Hermione leaned in, allowing the cigarette to rest in the flame for a few seconds until a small puff of smoke rose from the end. She leaned back slowly and took a long inhale before removing it from her lips.

"Thanks," Hermione rasped, glancing at Astoria's face for a brief moment before redirecting her gaze to the ground.

"I thought you quit smoking," Astoria sniffed, looking the brunette witch up and down as she shook her head. "It's a disgusting habit."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, Tori. I know how you feel about smoking, but you don't have to worry about me anymore. You made your opinion about me quite damn clear."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Astoria hissed, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched Hermione take another long drag of the cigarette. She scowled when Hermione exhaled in her direction and took a step back from the witch. "That was uncalled for."

"And I care because?" Hermione growled, pushing away from the wall and taking a few steps towards the street before turning on her heel to look at Tori once more. "You chose to walk away from me, Tori. Not the other fucking way around."

"I can't believe you are still upset about all of that," Astoria snarled, tossing her hands in the air as she rolled her eyes. She carded a hand through her hair as she thought about her next words carefully. Their brief relationship had meant more to Hermione than she initially thought.

"I could have understood if you told me that you didn't think you could love someone like me or that you didn't want to love me," Hermione chastised, closing the space between her and Astoria as she tossed her cigarette to the ground. "But you never gave us the chance to work things out. I know you have deeper feelings for me than you ever let on."

Astoria watched as tears started to roll down Hermione's cheeks as she spoke, and she felt her heart breaking. Hermione was right. Astoria was terrified of the feelings she felt for Hermione when they first met, so she walked away without giving them a fair shot.

"I wanted to," Astoria whispered, reaching out to touch Hermione's shoulder, but dropped her hand to her side as Hermione pulled away.

"Don't touch me," she blubbered, reaching up to wipe the tears off her cheek. "Real love doesn't evaporate when things get hard, or someone gets afraid of taking a chance on something that could have been fucking amazing, Tori.

"I could have given you everything that you ever wanted. Everything you couldn't get from Draco, Ron, Blaise, Theo, and every single other idiot with a cock that you have ever dated. You know, deep down, that you were never going to be happy with any of them. Why can't you just admit that to yourself?" Hermione pleaded, closing the space between them once more. She stared at Astoria for a few moments as the tears streamed freely down her face.

She was standing here in the middle of this alley with her heart on her sleeve, practically begging Astoria to take it, and yet she has been shot down once again. This was the last straw for their friendship. Hermione hated that it had come this, but she knew when she saw her inside that tonight would be the night that determined it all.

As the silence continued, Hermione hung her head and slowly turned around to walk away. "Don't worry, Tori. You won't have to worry about me ever again. Goodbye, Astoria. I hope you find whatever you're looking for."

Astoria watched as her best friend walked away from her. Her brain and her heart were both telling her to chase after Hermione, but for some unknown reason, her feet weren't listening to the signals. "What the hell is wrong with me?" she cursed under her breath. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and forced herself forward. She wasn't about to let her get away this time.

"Granger!" Astoria shouted, chasing her down the street. She was so determined to catch her that she didn't notice that Hermione had stopped walking away and was waiting for her. She collided into Hermione at full speed, knocking them both to the ground as their lips crashed into one another as their bodies hit the ground.

As the pair toppled over, their lips pulled apart slightly before coming back together once more. After a few brief moments, they separated and burst into a fit of laughter. Astoria looked down at Hermione and smiled. "I'm sorry, 'Mione. You were right; I was just afraid of being happy."

Looking up at her best friend, Hermione shook her head as she laughed. "It took you long enough."

Astoria rolled off of Hermione onto the ground and pushed herself up. Then she extended a hand down to her and pulled her to her feet. Once Hermione was standing, Astoria wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close.

The pair rested their foreheads against one another for a few moments.

"That was our first kiss," Hermione whispered, glancing at Astoria through her lashes.

"At least it was a memorable one," Astoria replied, pressing her lips to Hermione's gently. "It made a good show for all of the people at the Leaky Cauldron tonight, too."

Hermione tossed her head back with a laugh before leaning forward to press a kiss to the side of Astoria's head. "Why don't we take this show back to your place to make up for all the kisses we've missed and all the firsts we have yet to have?"

A wicked smirk pulled at Astoria's lips as she slipped her hand into Hermione's. "I love the way you think, Granger."


End file.
